Yes, I realize it’s too late to turn back now, but I am still scared to have a second child. There you go. All out there for the world to see and read and judge. I am very pregnant and it is T minus 10 weeks– that’s 70 days — until this baby gets here and I’m panicking.
You may remember about a year and a half ago I wrote this post about why I was scared to have a second child before having a second child was even remotely close to being reality. And now here I am, 2.5 months away from baby #2 and I am still very much afraid, although maybe not for the same reasons.
One of the biggest reasons I was initially scared was because I worried that it would be impossible to love a second child as much as Olivia. I’m still not sure how it can happen, but enough people have assured me that your heart doubles in size or expands or something like that. Either that, or every mother just loves their firstborn child the most, like my mother in-law loves my husband (wink wink to all my SILs 😉 ). So that one is no longer my biggest worry.
The workload is still a concern for me. You know, the whole two times the babies equals fifty times the work thing (that’s a real mathematical equation, by the way). On some days I call it a win when Olivia and I are both alive and well at the end of the day. Throw another life in the mix and things get a little shaky. Just thinking about it reminds me of those early days with Olivia when I could barely remember to feed myself.
And yeah, I think about how we’re technically “starting over” with the sleepless nights, blowouts, breastfeeding, and 37,836,482 diaper changes a day. I’m not exactly excited about that part, but getting high on that amazing newborn smell is definitely something to look forward to.
The thing is… I’m terrified about how this new baby will affect Olivia and my relationship with her. Will she resent the baby for taking up so much of my time? How will she feel about the new baby? Will she still feel as loved as before? How will she feel when I’m not able to tend to her every beck and call?
For so long Olivia has been my #1, my bestie, my lil shadow and it tears at the fibers of my mama being to think that she will feel slighted or less loved. Of course I plan on doing everything in my power not to let that happen, but what if it’s not enough? I wish I had the answers to all these questions. I wish that I could shield her from this change that I know is going to turn her world upside down.
But then the optimistic person deep inside me says that everything will be all right. People have second (and third and fourth) kids all the time and things turn out fine. Right? RIGHT?? Maybe things won’t be perfect, and there will be a learning curve, and things will be tough. And maybe instead of taking something away from Olivia, I’ll be giving her a wonderful gift– a sibling.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on having a second child and how you made the transition easy on your first!
XO,
L
What a beautiful and pure post! Lost for words..
Thank you for being so honest and raw.
I am 100 sure that the love that you and loverboy have showed/taught Livy she will give to her little sister/brother
We all cant wait!
Luuh you always
-Sumeila
I think your last words are your answer – your next child will be a gift to all three of you. I believe you can bring Olivia into the joy and the excitement that will come with this new member of the family. You were three, not you’re four, and isn’t that amazing! I believe that through you and Eric sharing this miracle with her, she’ll have her own awe and pleasure over a new sibling. When Zack was born, Justin was three and a half, and that’s how he took it: wow, this is cool, somebody becoming one of us, somebody new in the foursome. Cut to two years later, and me walking through the house, and discovering, in a window seat, Justin reading a children’s book to his brother. It’s one of my best memories.
I could not agree with you more Uncle Jerry and what a sweet memory:)
Thank you so much, Uncle Jerry! I love picturing Justin reading to Zach! I look forward to those kinds of moments between Olivia and Baby #2. XO
Hi there! I’m a mom of 2 under 2, I have a 22 month old and a 3 month old so I totally understand your fears! You are spot on when you say you are giving her the greatest gift a sibling! It’s a beautiful thing to witness their connection and in my case I didnt have to teach my firstborn to live his sister, he just did. 🙏🏻 But, that being said, there was a huge transition from only child to needing to share mamma with his newborn sis. Ugh that was tough and there were many tears from both of us very early on. But as time goes on, they adjust and understand. Kids are amazing and you will be an awesome mommy of 2! Congrats!
Hi Elisa! Thank you so much for your comment! You must be Super Mom with 2 under 2! I really appreciate your words of encouragement! XOXO
It’s a gift – siblings are so important. Your new one will teach Olivia things you and Eric won’t be able to fathom! They’ll have a bond all their own and it will be amazing.
Brennaaaaaa! I never even thought about it that way! And you must know a thing or two about that with all your siblings! 🙂 Thank you so much for your comment! XOXO
Yes, darling, , Uncle Jerry is right: your last words are your answer!
Besides that, you’ll have double the love…TRIPLE the love, considering Isher is right there beside you all.
We love you,
Gramma and Marvin
You know I felt the the exact same way. And the last line is definitely your answer. I feel so incredibly happy that we gave Brooklyn a sibling. Someone she’ll have on her level, when Mommy and Daddy are being crazy 😉 Someone to do life with, play with, talk to etc. Olivia will always know how much you love her and I personally think that because you’re scared/worried you’ll be more aware and smarter about how you handle the transition ♥️ You guys will be so great!!! xo!
Thanks my love! You’re right, bc I’m sure there will be moments when Mommy and Daddy are being crazy. 🙂 Love you!