Raising Interfaith Children

 Baptisms, Baby Namings, and Both Religions

Two weeks ago, we had Olivia’s baptism and baby naming. For those who don’t know, a baptism is a Christian religious rite that serves to purify someone and welcome them to the church. And a baby naming is a Jewish religious rite in which the baby is given a Hebrew name and welcomed into Judaism. It was awesome to see both our families coming together to celebrate our daughter and was a learning experience for everyone. And it also sparks conversation on raising interfaith children.

Ever since Eric and I started seriously dating six years ago, people would always ask if either one of us was planning to convert and/or how we planned to raise our kids with regards to religion. Not an unusual question because Eric is Jewish and I was raised Catholic. Our wedding was a wonderful fusion of both religions and cultures. We had a rabbi, a priest, stood under a chuppah, exchanged traditional Hispanic gifts (libro, lazo, and arras), danced the hora, and had mariachi. It was amazing and fun and people said they had never seen anything like it. But children? That’s a different story. People were curious as to whether we would raise our kids Catholic, Jewish, some combination of both, or agnostic. I don’t know if we ever really had a concrete answer and I can say that after 2 years of marriage and one ten month old baby, we still don’t have a concrete answer. Don’t get me wrong, we have a “rough outline,” if you will, of how we plan on raising interfaith children, but this is uncharted territory for us.

First, let me say that neither of us are what you would call religious people. Yes, we were raised as Catholic/Jewish but neither of us practice our respective religions or attend church/temple regularly. We do, however, celebrate the high holidays like Christmas, Hanukkah, Easter, Passover, etc. And we also value the traditions and symbols of our cultures and religions. So much of the Jewish religion is intertwined with the Jewish lifestyle and so much of the Mexican customs are intertwined with the Catholic religion. Celebrating those things and being with family mean something to us and we didn’t want to give that up. So we decided we wouldn’t.

Raising Interfaith Children… So what is our rough outline?

Now, although we had both a baby naming and a baptism, we don’t necessarily have plans to combine everything from both religions. Adding a first communion, confirmation, CCD, Hebrew school, quinceañera, and bat mitzvah would be enough to drive me and our kids crazy. But we believe that educating our children on both religions is the best option for us. By doing this, we avoid excluding or alienating not only each other, but both of our families as well. We want our children to be knowledgeable about Catholicism and Judaism.

Now, I can already predict people will say, “But won’t that be confusing for the child?” My answer would be that religion in and of itself is confusing. I certainly don’t understand it. And religion came to be as an attempt to answer questions about the unknown. Well, guess what? The unknown is still unknown.

And if, down the line, they choose one religion over the other, then we will know that they made an informed decision. Or if our children choose not to partake in either religion, that’s okay too. Because the most important thing to Eric and me is that our children grow to be kind, compassionate, giving, and loving people. And you don’t need religion to be any of those things. Our hope is that by teaching them both religions, they will have a respect for not just Judaism and Catholicism, but all religions and beliefs. And that is the most basic of all teachings.

What is your approach to raising interfaith children? What has/has not worked for your family? Comment and let me know!

XO,

L