An Open Letter to My One Year Old

My daughter’s birthday is in just a few days and while I’ve written about gift ideas for a one year old, my husband and I have also discussed doing something special for our daughter’s first birthday that isn’t a material gift; something like a time capsule or scrapbook or starting an email address for her where we can send emails and pictures as she grows up. And while all of those are good ideas, I thought I would start right here on the blog, where I pour my heart and soul into the very words on this screen, and write an open letter to my one year old daughter.

An Open Letter to My One Year Old:

Dear Olivia,

How do I put into words a love that is nearly impossible to describe, but can only be felt? How can I explain the intangible ways you’ve changed my life? What was my life like before you? This has been a whirlwind of a year with every emotion felt to its fullest, starting with the day you were born. There was no way to prepare for how much and how deeply we would fall in love with you.

I remember those first few weeks were filled with endless feedings, blowouts, and bouts of crying that had your daddy and me exchanging looks that said what do we do now? We would marvel at how somebody so tiny could turn our whole world upside-down. Sure, taking care of you was tiring and there were times when your needs brought me to tears, but then you would smile at me or coo softly and I would be reminded that it was all worth it. I don’t have an accurate count, but I am almost certain that I’ve spent hundreds of hours staring at your sweet sleeping face.

I was sad (and relieved!) when we made it past the newborn stage, but it was so gratifying to start seeing glimmers of your personality coming through. I took on making you laugh like it was a full-time job; I’d do anything to hear that sound over and over and over. And your daddy and I would fight over who got to hold you first, who got to kiss you first, or who could go get you from your crib the fastest. Take note that I always won those battles, therefore I love you more.

And while those first months seemed to move at a snail’s pace, it now feels like I can’t keep time from whizzing by. Every day it seems like you’re doing something new, learning something new, saying something new. Watching you experience the world and becoming a real person is the most exhilarating thing. You’re trying new foods, developing your own tastes and like and dislikes. You are silly and goofy and you have a great sense of humor. I love when we give each other that special look and we both start laughing as if we’re the only two people in on a joke. It is already clear that you are independent and you try to test our limits, and while we may not love it now, stay that way baby girl, be strong. You are sweet and affectionate with smiles for miles and holding you in my arms with your head on my shoulder is the best feeling in the world.

Because of you, I continue to experience the greatest love I’ve ever known. You have taught me patience and and the meaning of true unconditional love. There is no hurdle I wouldn’t jump, no bridge I wouldn’t cross, no ocean I wouldn’t swim for you. You have taught me not to sweat the small stuff (like those blueberry stains aaaallll over your new outfit) and you’ve taught me to appreciate life in ways that I previously hadn’t.

And now you are [almost] one. How can such a small number feel so huge? A friend of mine recently told me, “the days may seem long, but the years fly by.” No truer words were ever spoken. I know that the days ahead hold challenges, surprises, good things, and bad, but I promise this to you, baby girl: I will always be by your side, loving you no matter what.

XO,

Your Mommy

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