Hilarious: 25 Women Describe Their Boobs After Breastfeeding

Boobs. Boobies. Tatas. Jugs. Melons. Cans. Bazookas. Oh so many words to describe our beloved ‘girls.’ But how do you describe them after pregnancy and breastfeeding? After looking at my own girls in the mirror and trying to decide how they compared to my old boobs, you know, the ones that didn’t go through pregnancy and 14 months of breastfeeding, I wanted to know how other women felt about their breasts after motherhood had taken its toll. So I went to the very official place of polling and information: Facebook, and I asked women to share their opinions of their boobs after breastfeeding. And boy oh boy! These women were so candid and funny and lighthearted. The responses rolled in and I rolled with laughter.

25 Women Describe Their Boobs After Breastfeeding

Fill in the blank and be as colorful and creative as you want. After breastfeeding, my boobs look(ed) like _____________.

1. Droopy and my nipples will never point in the same direction without assistance ever again. –Mandy
2. Sunny side eggs nailed to a wall… sliding down said wall. –Becky
3. My belly button’s new next door neighbor. –Claire, Mama Du Jour
4. I need to finish my degree so I can start my high paying job to afford a breast lift. –Michelle
5. Beaver tails. –Elizabeth
6. Cherry tomatoes –Erika
7. Udders. –Michelle
8. Boobs? What boobs? –Colleen
9. Before I breastfed they looked like muffins, now they are pancakes. –Anonymous
10. Something from national geographic. –Joan
11. Deflated different sized beach balls. –Erica
12. Sad. Just sad. –Shannah
13. Exact opposite–they grew ten sizes that day. –Dianna
14. A sock with a tennis ball in it. –Emily
15. My back. Seriously, I felt like little Miss Katie Two Backs. –Katie
16. Floppy dog ears. –Carolyn
17. Picasso boobs! One is an A cup and one is a C!!!! –Anonymous
18. Amazing, powerful, lovely, perfect, sad water balloons. –Maggie
19. Lance Armstrong’s ball sac. –Jenny
20. They created a toddler. –Ana
21. An inflated balloon that had been deflated and re-inflated continuously. Then floated down behind the couch and was only found 2 weeks later. So basically, my boobs, in a word, look sad. –Alana
22. Do you want me to describe the left one or the right one…….. –Dani
23. They barely escaped war. –Heidi
24. Deflated flotation devices. –Chrissy
25. Things that saved us +$5500! –Anonymous

Thank you to all the women that responded to my question and shared their hilarious comparisons! I also feel like I should add that for all the funny responses I got, there were also many women that said their boobs were the same and/or better. And to them I say, zip it! 😉

And to all the mamas everywhere, whether you nursed your babes or not, embrace your awesome mosquito bite boobies or your triple Ds because our bodies are awesome, amazing, wonderful, capable things!

How would you describe your boobs after breastfeeding and pregnancy?

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XO,

L